aI love history, so I’m one of those people who gets to witness historical moments as they happen, both as a participant and as an outside viewer. So I feel lucky to be two years older than what is considered the birth of hip-hop and to have grown up with hip-hop like a brother. Because I was able to witness many firsts. Each time I experienced these tectonic shifts, I took note of where I was. Because music is a polaroid of memory. The songs, melodies, and albums are classics. Because the moment you hear it, you know where you were. This shift in paradigm has been both beneficial to hip-hop in some cases and unfortunately in others to its detriment. But nothing could have prepared him for the moment that changed hip-hop forever: the 1995 Source Awards.
The 1995 Source Awards were a funeral in hip-hop history, but I wouldn’t say so now. On that day, August 3, 1995, I knew it was coming into the Paramount Theater in New York City, and I knew it was getting away. It is no exaggeration to say that it runs. I was running for my life. It felt like a creative version of the movie. apocalypse of hell.
Hip-hop was born as a rejection of the richness of Studio 54 culture. This is a direct result of Black people being historically excluded from spaces of social mobility and consistently being the “have-nots.” But by the start of the ’90s, hip-hop was slowly turning into the very thing it had once opposed.
Released by Dr. Dre in 1992 chronicAnd what really made this album notable was that it marked the first push into the rock star lifestyle in hip-hop. At the time, Nirvana was deep in nihilism, rejecting everything the hair metal rockers stood for: women, money, and drugs. chronicAlthough not an overt statement of luxury, it was the blueprint that Sean Diddy Combs listened to and created a new standard.
In people’s eyes, chronic “The 1970s” was the first album that didn’t have to pander to a formula that was so safe and peaceful, with a trusted producer/host, like grandma sang along to. Snoop Dogg had come onto the scene as an incredibly promising new host, and Dre had become a production god. They were writing big numbers on the board, dominating MTV, and once New York saw that this was the golden ticket, suddenly everyone was lining up. Questionable compromises were made, and it felt like a lot of artists were being written off, including The Roots. (We eventually made the decision to move to Europe for two years of our record deal.) chronic(The influence of the 1960s and 70s.) As was the case with art, survival became more important, by any means necessary.
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That was the mindset everyone had when they walked into the Paramount Theater in ’95. Exactly one year ago, the first-ever non-televised Source Awards had already heightened tensions between Tupac and A Tribe Called Quest, and only further cemented the East Coast/West Coast rivalry. Instead, it became an ominous omen that would divide New York into two. And that’s exactly how the theater was divided too. To the right as you face the stage is where all the winners are, and there’s basically someone who’s two notches above Combs. They looked glowing, which is something we didn’t know we had to do. In the middle were other regions: the South, the Midwest, and the West Coast. They were already defensive because they were in New York, and, well, we were a nasty bunch and looked at them in a very arrogant light. And on the left were the have-nots: New York-centric hip-hop. Those people will eventually become grumpy old men complaining that hip-hop is dead.
The first thing I noticed was the eggplant. When I saw him come in, I noticed he was wearing a very strange red, white and blue Tommy Hilfiger shirt. It was his 4-XL. I think I can wear that shirt. I’m a big guy. And Nas was obsessed with that shirt. He went to a seat on the left side of the theater four rows in front of me and sat down.
The big question of the night was who would be crowned Rap Album of the Year. Is it eggplant? illmatic or biggie’s ready to dieReceived a rare 5 microphone rating from ? origin for illmaticNas was on top of his game and it looked like tonight was going to be his night, but the momentum Biggie had had since the album came out was undeniable and as he began to sweep award after award, Nas sank further and further into his seat as the night went on.
At the time, I had low self-esteem and was familiar with Nas’ heartbreaking and defeated attitude. I still wish I could have approached him and said, “Don’t let this moment define your future.” Because by the end of the night, you could tell right away that he was going to give it all up and compete with Biggie. I was convinced of that when I talked to former Nas manager Steve Stout and he told me about that moment. Nas was disappointed as if the past year had been a total waste, and the result of the night was, in part, the release of his second album. It is writtenAnd while this was Nas’ most successful record, it came at a price: Nas was open for business and tailored his music to suit the public. chronic and ready to die He’ll hug you too.
Literally, one by one, everyone found themselves having to compromise. And I don’t mean the four-letter word “compromise.” Because when you’re black, nothing comes before survival. Black people often dislike when rap critics, who are primarily white, are quick to use the word “sellout.” As if black people aren’t always in a fight-or-flight rat maze all their lives. Yes, even your art may have to be sacrificed. And that realization, and the subsequent feeling of hopelessness, is why the Source Award became one of the most depressing days of my life. I didn’t know if I had a future.
Later that night, as they were about to hand Dr. Dre the Producer of the Year award and Snoop Dogg was about to give his infamous “There’s no love for Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg on the East Coast” speech, None of us did that. We are already seated. The energy at that point reminded me of an old-fashioned Western bar fight. All I remember is grabbing my date and saying, “I’m leaving now.” And we ran for our lives. The second thing I heard was “Dr.” I heard “Dre, Snoop Dogg” and thought, “We’re all going to die.”
It didn’t seem like much of a stretch at the time, but slowly and figuratively speaking, I was right. The hip-hop I knew, loved, and embraced was gone, and the hourglass turned over that night. But as I was running away, a guy on the street came up to me and said, “Hey, take this.” He handed the cassette into my hand and it said D’Angelo. brown sugar. Now, I didn’t normally do demos, but I kept running with the tape in my pocket. When I got back to my hotel room and listened to how great that cassette was, I sat there and realized I had a chance to be on this record, but I didn’t. I had to make music with this person.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that on the day I thought culture would end, I ended up meeting the very people I was about to create. voodoo A new paradigm-shifting masterpiece was born for us. That’s how I met him. It was a rebirth of what I felt was ultimately the funeral of hip-hop.
—As told to Rachel Sonis
