Stephen Beach
New research shows that men, especially those with narcissistic tendencies, are more likely to love being a target for gossip than women.
Researchers in the US and Germany set out to discover whether it is better to be spoken or ignored.
Their discoveries revealed “unexpected” insights into why people gossip and what it says about us.
Research leader Andrew Hales, professor of psychology, says decades of research on expulsion have shown that even subtle or short cases of being ignored by strangers can threaten our most basic psychological needs.
Hales, a graduate of the University of Mississippi, said:
“It makes you feel bad about yourself. It makes you feel temporarily pointless.”
Adding gossip to the mixture quickly turns the situation into an even more tricky psychological riddle.
Hales said:
“But at the same time, people don’t want to be ignored either.
“So, if your only option is seen as rumoured or insignificant enough that no one even mentions you, both feel negative, in a very different way.
“This study aims to explore what happens when these two powerful social motivations collide.”
Hales worked with Dr. Meltem Yussel from Duke University and Professor Selma Rudert from Kaiser-Lautanlandau University in Germany to address the question.
Dr. Yusel studied gossip in a wide range of ages, from young children to college students, and how it affects friendship and social dynamics.
She became interested in gossip from her childhood in Turkish, where she attended the day of the gold gathering.
Dr. Yussel said: “When I was a kid, if I wanted to comment on gossip, I would be bothered or told not to join the adult conversation.
“So I’ve always been curious. Why is it okay for adults to do that and why isn’t it a child?
“That question stuck with me for a long time. My PhD finally had the opportunity to really study it.”
For a new study published in Journal Self and Identity, the research team asked volunteers to imagine leaving people at parties to be in conversation.
When they leave the party they are asked: Would you rather be spoken?
The research team conducted five experiments with over 1,000 participants to explore the questions through a variety of variations.
“People will be more disgusted than negatively or more aggressively at rumors,” Hales said.
“But one thing that really surprised me was that, among each of them, preferences were not universal.
“Around a third of participants said they didn’t want to be the focus of positive gossip.
“The reason is not entirely clear, but it could be that they are concerned that positive gossip could potentially be considered dishonest or could soon become negative.”
The researchers found that gender and narcissism are “important predictors” of the desire to be the focus of gossip, even if it is negative.
On average, 15% of people with that preference tend to be narcissists, and men are more likely to show that desire than women.
Hales said: “Nagsists often feel qualified and special, so you may believe that gossip about them is positive, even if it is clearly negative.
“However, they may prefer negative attention rather than being completely ignored.”
Research shows that most people dislike being a target for negative gossip.
However, positive gossip is generally welcome.
However, nearly one in three people are uncomfortable with positive gossip.
Researchers believe it could be due to lack of control, suspicion of hidden negativity, or cultural or religious beliefs about gossip.
Dr. Yusel said another important finding is that gossip isn’t inherently bad because it helps with “important” social functions.
She says that even negative gossip will help the group stay fair and accountable if they don’t lie with good intentions.
Hales said: “Gossip is ubiquitous.
“It’s very common for people to talk about people.
“We are social animals, and social animals are fascinated by others and we’re going to talk about them when they don’t exist.”
He added: “As with everything in life, it’s wise to be compassionate, thoughtful and cautious about what you choose to share about others.”
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